


Wither Away

by Bonnie_E



Category: Tales of Zestiria
Genre: Death, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mortality, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 00:27:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7663033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bonnie_E/pseuds/Bonnie_E
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikleo closed his eyes, searching for Sorey's source of mana – trying to discover the element he had been reborn with as a Seraph.</p><p>Nothing.	Sorey was still a human.</p><p>It was wonderful in a way – he had all his memories. But yet, it was still exceptionally bittersweet. Because it meant that Mikleo would have to lose Sorey all over again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wither Away

Mikleo shouldn't have been that surprised – it certainly wasn't the first time he'd fallen into the deeper depths of a ruin, the slightest strain from his light footsteps enough to crumble ancient floors beneath him, or by him springing an unexpected trap.

Every time was like slow motion – a brief attempt to save himself, but then reserving himself to his fate and calmly breaking his fall with a water spell. But this time his descent had been stopped short, and his arm jolted with the force of his body stopping short of the edge.

Mikleo had sensed someone else had been in the ruin – following him not too far behind. He had sensed it ever since he had reached the fire chamber. However, he hadn't sensed any malevolence, so he hadn't concerned himself with it. If it had become a problem, then he would have dealt with it when it arose.

And now that person had apparently saved him.

He looked up, but the figure was in silhouette. Clearly a man with scruffy hair and a cape, but otherwise he could hardly see him. But then Mikleo looked at the hand that was holding his tightly. He was wearing Sorey's Shepherd glove.

Mikleo's heart leapt once, twice, and he breathed in a relieved and happy breath as he smiled. He reached with his other hand and took the fingerless glove in it, holding on and not wanting to ever let go. Gripping that hand, that oh, so familiar hand... Mikleo cursed his own gloves at that moment. They kept him from truly feeling the warmth in the fingers, in the touch. But there was no time for any of that – he was still dangling precariously from the hole in the ruin he had fallen through. There would be time to revel in his happiness once he was back on solid ground. Pushing his elation away, he helped his saviour pull him from the chasm to grasp the edge and push himself to his knees and a safe distance from another fall.

There was nothing but silence. For a moment, Mikleo was almost afraid to look on the off chance he was wrong and it was just someone with a very similar glove.

“Are you okay?”

Sorey's voice was like home – a tone Mikleo had long forgotten, but now bubbled right to the surface of familiarity. Mikleo dared look up.

Sorey looked exactly the same – messy chestnut brown hair, emerald green eyes sparkling with life, golden feathers about his ears, enthusiastic smile. Mikleo stared at him a minute, speechless.

“It – it is you, right? Mikleo?” Sorey asked.

“Sorey...” Mikleo said, almost breathless, his voice barely a whisper.

“I thought so! You still look the same. Well, you grew your hair,” Sorey stated, then ran his hands through it. “I like it.”

They embraced with more tenderness than ever before, Mikleo's joyful tears landing on Sorey's shoulder as he tried desperately to compose himself so he could finally tell his friend all he had wanted to for centuries – all the things he had thought would only complicate things with all that had been happening around them.

Sorey's gentle hand had found his back and was rubbing it as a parent would comfort a child.

“I'm back, Mikleo. Everything's going to be alright now. Sssh ssssh...”

He had wanted to be so much more composed. Happy to have his best friend back, of course, but certainly not a blubbering mess. Even though it was Sorey, the one person who he had truly felt comfortable showing his emotions to, it was embarrassing.

“Sorey...” Mikleo choked, then forced himself to sit up and look at his best friend again. If he hadn't felt his warmth, he would have worried this was yet another dream, where he would wake up and the room would be empty and cold.

Sorey had always been the most important person in his life. As the centuries passed, Mikleo had met and befriended many humans, but not one friendship had ever equaled the way he had been with Sorey. They were soul mates. For all they had been teased about it when they were young, as much as it had embarrassed him back then, it was apparent to him now just how much that was true. And now that Sorey was home, Mikleo felt as if his life could finally get back to how it had been when they were children.

“You remember me?” Mikleo asked.

Sorey tipped his head. “Why wouldn't I remember you?”

“It's just that...” Mikleo paused, then took Sorey's hand. He closed his eyes, searching for his source of mana – trying to discover the element he had been reborn with as a Seraph.

Nothing.

Sorey was still a human.

It was wonderful in a way – he had all his memories. But yet, it was still exceptionally bittersweet. Because it meant that he would have to lose Sorey all over again.

When they had been young, the thought of the day he would lose Sorey to time only sometimes haunted Mikleo. After all, he and Sorey were both so young, and it was hard to imagine Sorey growing old and withering away. But now that Mikleo had seen it – in Rose, Alisha, Sergei...several more human friends he had gathered over time, he knew full well what the mortality of humans looked like. It never got any easier to watch. When he was at his weakest moments, he imagined what it would be like to lose Sorey in the same way. He had thought that it wouldn't be an issue – Sorey's heart was so pure that it was practically impossible he wouldn't be reborn as a Seraph. But there had still been the tiniest seed of doubt – a fear Mikleo had never dared to voice aloud, but had always been there.

And soon it would be a reality.

When they had both been young, Sorey's end seemed so far away. Maybe that's why it had been so easy for Mikleo to let himself forget. But he had lived far too long. A century was a tiny sliver of life for a Seraphim.

“Are you okay? You didn't hurt yourself when you fell, did you? Mikleo?”

Sorey's voice brought Mikleo back to the moment, and he found himself staring into Sorey's eyes. For a minute Mikleo didn't say anything.

“Yeah, I'm okay.” He looked up at Sorey and smiled. Maybe it was a little forced, but it was best he try to put his feelings aside and relish this moment – the rest of the years they would now have that had originally been stolen by Shepherd's duty. Besides, there were so many places he wanted to take Sorey and show him – things they had missed on their journey, ruins he had explored even more thoroughly while his best friend slept. There were also things Mikleo had always wanted to say, but it had never been the right time. For the time being, Mikleo could try to put it out of his mind and enjoy the upcoming years.

******

It had been hundreds of years since Sorey had gone to sleep, ending the Age of Chaos. Another sixty since Sorey had awakened and pulled Mikleo out of the chasm. To Sorey it had seemed like such a long time, but it was but a blink of an eye to a Seraph who had lived as long as Mikleo.

They had used Elysia as a home base, then proceeded to spend most of their time travelling the world and exploring whatever ruins they could find, including some Mikleo hadn't even had a chance to fully investigate.

It was like old times at first. The burdens of his Shepherd duties lifted, Sorey had a new sparkle in his eyes as he discovered how much his sacrifice had helped Glenwood, and how it had all seemed to be worth it. Life was simple – just the two of them and the world. They were some of the best years of Mikleo's life.

Time had only brought Mikleo and Sorey closer together. Mikleo had confessed his feelings that went well beyond friendship and that had led to Sorey admitting he felt the same – that he always had. There had been times during his friend's long sleep when Mikleo had wondered if admitting it would only cause him more heartbreak in the end. However, there was no way he could suppress his feelings about Sorey when he saw his smile, the excitement in his eyes when they stepped into a new ruin. There were just too many things that he couldn't help but love about Sorey. And so Mikleo forgot his apprehension and delighted in Sorey's presence, his warmth. For however long he would have it.

But time wasn't something a human like Sorey had an infinite amount of.

Sixty years, and Sorey's hair was now as white as Mikleo's. Wrinkles had slowly creased the edges of his eyes, taking over the formerly smooth skin of his Shepherd until it looked like leather. Mikleo didn't find it unattractive – it was simply a painful reminder of the passing time.

They had been spending more and more time in Elysia. Sorey's body just couldn't take long distance travel anymore, and nobody hated that fact more than Sorey himself. His bones creaked and his muscles ached. His steps had become slower and slower until he had been offered a cane, carved from strong wood, from Seraph Taccio, who knew the same woes of aging - though the Seraph's had taken thousands and thousands of years. Sorey's sword hand had been seizing and weakening more and more until holding the hilt was just too painful.

There were days when he would tell Mikleo he just wanted to be alone and slowly hobbled out of the village to his favourite spot on the edge of the Mount Mabinogio ruins. One of the earth Seraphs had made Sorey a relaxing chair where he could sit and look out onto the world below. Mikleo worried sometimes that Sorey's new desire to be alone meant there was something seriously wrong.

There were days when Mikleo would approach him, and Sorey would simply say, “Sorry, Mikleo. I'll come back soon, promise.” Mikleo hated those days, because there was a tone in Sorey's voice that didn't sound like him, and despite Mikleo trying to ask why in the evening, Sorey never wanted to talk about it. But there were other days when Sorey would slowly move over and Mikleo would sit beside him, or simply stand behind him and leave soft kisses in his hair, and they would joke around, debate or talk about old times, as if nothing was wrong.

It was one of those days. Well, sort of. Sorey allowed Mikleo to sit beside him, but he didn't really seem to be in the mood for talking. Mikleo didn't mind – every moment he could spend with him was good enough.

After a long silence, Sorey sighed, not turning to Mikleo – just staring out into the distance.

“What was it like?” he asked. “Watching Rose? The others...?”

Mikleo sighed, probably saying more in that one gesture then the words that followed. “It hurt.”

Sorey nodded. “I bet it did.”

“But I survived.”

“But it still hurt.”

“Of course. Losing friends always hurts.”

Sorey sighed. “Are you going to be okay?”

“Okay?”

“When I'm gone?”

Mikleo hadn't expected the question, and he certainly didn't know how to answer.

“Don't be dumb. You're still going to be around awhile.”

“You're the one being dumb if you believe that.”

“Sorey...”

“I really want to know.”

Mikleo looked away, his long fringe covering his eyes. He was trying to hold back the tears that thinking about it sometimes brought. Sorey had never asked him so frankly – in fact, they rarely talked about it, and Mikleo had always managed to quickly change the subject, as if not talking about it would mean it wouldn't happen. But this time Sorey was clearly serious, and wanted an honest answer.

“...I survived the first time. I will this time, too.”

“Even though this time it's...different?”

“It is what it is. I accepted that a long time ago, you know.”

Sorey took Mikleo's chin lightly in his palm. “Yeah. But you don't have to like it.”

“I don't. But what other choice do I have?”

“Mikleo, I... Sorry.”

“Don't apologize. It's not like there's anything you can do to stop time.”

“But I would if I could.”

“I know. So would I.”

Sorey took Mikleo in a warm embrace, and Mikleo relished it. He had spent years trying to memorize how Sorey felt, sounded, smelled...because soon he would have no further chance to experience him and all he was. Even when thousands of years had passed, Mikleo would hold on to those memories and never let go.

“Sorey, I promise...I'll be okay. Having you back, even just for this short time, will be something I'll cherish forever. I mean it.”

“Do you think it would have been better if I had come back as a Seraph instead?”

Mikleo shrugged. “I don't know. Maybe. I guess even that wouldn't have been optimal. You probably would have lost all your memories.”

“Would that have bugged you?”

“I don't know. I guess a little. But you probably would have still been you. That would have been the most important part, I guess.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” Mikleo smiled and ruffled Sorey's hair. “You still would have been naive and selfless to a fault.”

Sorey laughed, and Mikleo noticed he seemed to be in better spirits. That was the best he could ask for.

“They're both qualities I admire,” Mikleo said. “That and a whole bunch of others.”

“Oh, really?”

“Really.” Mikleo leaned over and pecked Sorey on the cheek.

******

Sorey had gone from sitting alone by the ruins to sitting alone in the small study that had been built into their home by Mikleo in his absence. Whenever Mikleo tried to enter, Sorey would say, “No coming in. It's not done yet!”

Mikleo pressed Sorey at first, when he would come out of the room to eat and sleep. But he refused to tell him what he was doing. Mikleo chose to give him his privacy, because whatever it was, Sorey told him he would see it once it was done.

Mikleo missed him but he didn't worry like he had before, because Sorey's mood had changed drastically. He was still much quieter then he had been in his youth, but he seemed happy again, and that was all Mikleo could ask for.

Despite his better mood, Sorey didn't seem to be well otherwise. It wasn't his isolation – it was the coughing that slowly wracked his lungs and became a constant. Mikleo lied beside Sorey every night, fully awake while Sorey slept. Finally unable to stop concerning himself with it, he put a gentle hand on Sorey's chest and used his healing powers to see if there was anything he could do. He had learned over the centuries that some things were just beyond a Seraph's restorative abilities.

There wasn't anything he could do. It was a taint on Sorey's lungs, but not like malevolence. No amount of purifying would help. The best Mikleo could do was ease whatever pain Sorey experienced. But Sorey's time in the world would soon come to an end. Mikleo knew it, but chose not to say anything.

******

Sorey had been spending more time in bed and far less in the study as his health rapidly declined, until he was completely bedridden. Mikleo diligently read beside him as he always had whenever Sorey had been ill, taking care of whatever needs arose. He didn't want to leave him alone for even a second, knowing full well how little time they had left. His only breaks were when he prepared food for Sorey, and one of the elder Seraphs came in to watch over him. It was someone different every time, as if all the Elysian Seraphs wanted a final moment with Sorey.

“You've been awfully quiet the last couple weeks,” Sorey said after picking at a meal Mikleo had lovingly prepared that, when he was well, would have been completely devoured in minutes.

“Got a lot on my mind,” Mikleo said. “Don't worry about it.”

“So you know I'm not going to be around much longer, huh?”

Mikleo sighed. “I was trying not to think about it.”

“Knowing you, it's all you can think about.”

There was no point in lying to him. “Of course.”

Sorey loudly sighed. “Thanks for looking after me.”

“Like I'd ever leave you alone. You're stuck with me until the end.”

Sorey coughed lightly, though it had started as a laugh. “I wouldn't want it any other way.”

“I know.”

There was more silence between them as Mikleo slowly gathered the plates and put them on the table by the door.

“Look, Mikleo...I don't know how much longer I'm gonna have, but...I'm not quite done what I was working on in the study. I just need one more day, but I can't get there. I didn't want to give it away, but...I've got no choice.” Sorey said, then broke out into a violent coughing fit, and Mikleo adjusted the pillows beneath him to make him more comfortable.

“There's a big book in there – in the bottom left drawer. I need that...and a pen. And just a couple hours alone.”

“You were in there writing?”

Sorey nodded weakly. “Had some stuff I wanted to get down before I couldn't anymore. It's kinda important. I'm going to let you read it over when it's done, but I can't just yet. I wanted to make sure I got the last part just right, then I got too sick to go in and finish it. That's why I just need a couple more hours to make it perfect. So...could you get it for me?”

Mikleo rose. He didn't really want to leave Sorey alone, but if it meant that much to him, then he would give him those couple hours.

“I'll give you time to finish. But if you need anything, then I'll be in the sitting room. Will that be alone enough?”

“Yeah.”

Mikleo sighed again, knowing the small amount of time they had left together, but he wanted Sorey to have the chance to finish his writing, since it meant so much to him. He found the book in the drawer and as Sorey had instructed, brought it to him.

“Can you help me sit up?”

Mikleo eased Sorey up and gingerly placed more pillows and blankets behind him so he wouldn't fall back.

“That's perfect. Thanks, Mikleo.”

“If you need anything – anything at all – please call me in. I'll be right here.”

Sorey took Mikleo's hand and squeezed it. “I know.”

******

It was an agonizing wait, though in this blink of an eye that was his time with Sorey, it was a blink of an eye. It was more than a couple hours, but Mikleo didn't bother Sorey. As long as he was still coughing, he was still there. It was probably silly to worry about Sorey leaving him again in the very brief moment he hadn't been there, but fate was often unfair.

“Hey, Mikleo...”

Mikleo rose quickly and peeked inside their bedroom. “What do you need?”

Sorey beamed. “I'm done. So now I want you to be the first one to read it. Sorey tapped the space beside him on the bed, clearly wanting Mikleo as close to him as possible. “I want to see what you think.”

Mikleo sat beside him and took the book from his friend, who waited with enthusiasm that betrayed his age or state of health. He was certainly excited to show off his work, just as he had always been when he had made a discovery in a ruin, or while perusing a book on ancient landmarks.

It had finally been titled. The book's cover had been blank when Mikleo had fetched it for him.

 _My Journal_ by Sorey

Mikleo cracked open the book and the smell of ink wafted from the page. He saw Sorey's messy writing scrawled unevenly on the page, as if he hadn't used a ruler to write the lines. It was still legible, but compared to Mikleo's flowing, careful cursive, Sorey's writing looked like a disaster – even more so after the arthritis had gripped his hands, but it had never been particularly beautiful.

_If you're reading this, I guess you're a Seraph now, the first line read. Your name is Sorey. Your home is in Elysia. You used to be a human, but you died. I'm writing this for you so that when you come back, if you have no memories, you'll know what's going on, and who's important to you._

_When you come back?_ Mikleo questioned to himself, but then went back to the book. 

Mikleo read through it, pages upon pages of information on who Sorey was, who his friends were, including deep, detailed information on them all, and what they meant to each other. The largest section included details about Sorey's relationship with his 'one and only', which was flowery and completely embarrassing. But also completely heartfelt, and Mikleo couldn't help but blush. He looked at Sorey, who merely smiled. 

“You're an idiot. I don't believe you wrote some of this stuff.” 

“Where are you?” 

“ _'His eyes are like the finest amethyst and skin as soft as silk. There is no way that anyone else in Glenwood could possibly be as beautiful as I find Mikleo...'_ Sorey, seriously...” 

“Wouldn't have written it if I didn't think so.” 

Mikleo covered his face with his hand. “I know, it's just... You're too much.”

Sorey laughed, this time not breaking into a cough. “You're so cute.”

“Stop,” Mikleo groaned. “I have to keep reading.”

“Okay,” Sorey said with a weak smile. “I'm tired.... I'm going to take a nap. Wake me up when you're done.”

Mikleo stroked his hair. “Okay. But what did you mean by 'When you come back'?”

Sorey either didn't hear him or ignored him, closing his eyes. Mikleo sighed and went back to the pages.

As Mikleo read further, the book became more and more personal, a look inside Sorey, things even Mikleo had never known his friend felt – about his childhood, his time as the Shepherd, the tiny pieces of memories and dreams from his long sleep that he had never shared. His life's regrets, and his greatest joys. Mikleo had never known Sorey could be that introspective about himself. It was surprising. It was almost as if he had never truly known him, his deepest depths.

 _Maotelus told me, just before I woke up, that I had earned the right to be a Seraph due to my pure heart and deeds as a Shepherd. But he also warned me that, when I do, I will probably lose at least some of my memories. Maybe even all of them. So I struck a deal with him – I wanted as long as I could get with Mikleo, and with my friends, with my memories. So I asked to delay it. He warned me there was a chance I might lose the privilege if I wait, but my memories are important to me. Even though some of them hurt, I wanted to remember. Because most of them were about my times with Mikleo. And I couldn't stand the thought that I could meet him again and not know what he means to me. He's just always been the most important part of my life. And I kind of feel that I'm not who I am without him. And I wanted more time. At least I wanted to have a chance to say goodbye properly._

_If you've gotten this far, then...tell Mikleo I love him more than words could ever express. That I've loved him my entire life. And that I'm sorry I had to leave him a second time. I really hope that if I do come back as a Seraph, I'll at least remember him. But just in case I don't, I wanted you to know. So I wrote this. I hope his love for me doesn't ever change._

“Sorey, you big dummy...” Mikleo breathed in to hold back the tears he hadn't noticed were falling. “Of course that will never change.” 

Sorey coughed loudly and opened his eyes, drawing Mikleo's attention from the book to him.

“Are you finished reading?” he spoke quietly, struggling to say every word, weariness clear.

Mikleo furiously wiped his eyes and took Sorey's withered hand. “Yeah.” 

Sorey frowned. “Are you crying?”

“No! I just...I have something in my eye...” 

Sorey smiled. Mikleo knew he wasn't fooling his friend. “So do you think it's good ?” 

“...It's...it's...” Mikleo didn't bother wiping the tears this time. “I didn't know you were capable of this much introspection.” 

“I've had a long time to think about stuff,” Sorey said. “And it wasn't easy. But I mean every word of it. I wanted to be true to myself. Because it wouldn't be fair to Seraph me. That's...if I come back at all. And if I don't, I want you to have this book instead. Something to remember me by. Because you forgot some things after all that time I was sleeping and I had to remind you. It's just what happens when you've got a lot of memories to keep straight, I guess. I'm not mad or anything.”

Sorey reached up weakly and wiped a tear from Mikleo's eye. “And I mean the last part. I mean that probably more than the rest of it, even.”

“I know,” Mikleo said. “I've always known that much.”

“Well, I'm telling you again. Because you never can say it too much. And you always get so flustered... Your face is all red.”

“I'm not flustered. It's just really hot in this room...”

“Yeah, okay. Whatever you say.”

Sorey held up his arms, and reached for Mikleo, who helped him sit up again. He then wrapped his arms around the elder man, and held him tightly. “It hurts me to see you like this,” he whispered in Sorey's ear.

“Your hair is so soft...” Sorey said in response. “And it smells good.”

“Sorey...”

“Well, it does.”

Mikleo was suddenly overwhelmed with the emotions he had been holding back, and he was brought back to the day Sorey had saved him in the ruins after his long sleep, when Mikleo's tears overflowed and he couldn't stop himself. But this was for an entirely different reason. He remembered when he had been so young, they had both been so young, dashing through the ruins, marveling at new discoveries, and debating whether the Mount Mabinogio ruins were from before the era of Asgard or a carefully crafted homage from a later time. He remembered Rose, Alisha, his other friends, saw their withered faces, heard their final breaths, and every tear he had never shed for them now overtook his heart.

He was holding on to Sorey tightly, unable to calm his hiccoughs. And like that day seventy years ago, Sorey rubbed his back. Slower, weaker this time, but still with so much caring and love.

“I hope I come back as a Seraph...so you'll never have to lose me again...” Sorey whispered in his ear. “It hurts me to see you like this, too.”

“Sorey...” Mikleo sniffled loudly.

“Even if I become a Seraph...even if I lose all my memories, I know a piece of you will be inside my heart. And I'll fall in love with you all over again. And we'll go back to exploring ruins all over the world. Alright?”

Mikleo calmed his breaths, wiped his eyes, his energy for his sorrow spent and lost in Sorey's words. He let go of him, but cupped his face in his soft hands.

“Sorey...” Mikleo breathed in sharply. “I love you, too.”

Sorey laughed a little. “Yeah, I know. You've told me lots of times.”

“And I'm telling you again.” Mikleo leaned in and kissed Sorey tenderly, hoping that one day this would be forever. 

He remembered their first kiss - awkward, sloppy, wet and full of teeth, but wonderful. Hundreds, thousands of kisses later, that feeling had never subsided. Even in that moment, Mikleo forgot Sorey's wrinkles and white hair and felt breathless thinking about his smile, his laugh, his marvelous heart that meant well in all things. His wonderful, special Sorey. 

"Oh, I like that..." Sorey whispered. “Do you think just because I'm an old, sick man, that I wouldn't kiss you all night if I could?” 

“Sorey...” Mikleo sighed and shook his head. 

“I wish I could. I totally would if I was strong enough. You still take my breath away. My beautiful Mikleo.”

Mikleo smiled. “You're not getting rid of me, you know. I'm going to stay by your side until the very end.”

“And that's a problem?”

The two of them laughed and sat with their foreheads together, staring into each other's eyes until Sorey grew tired again and fell asleep.

END

**Author's Note:**

> Well, there we go. Probably the only time I've seen this theme, at least here on Ao3 (haven't been to FF.net in awhile - I should probably check out what's there...) I hope I did it justice. I've been picking at this off and on for a few months, and finally decided I wanted to get it finished for Sormik Week. I know I'm a little early, but eh...it's never too early to celebrate these precious boys. One day I would really like it if they'd give me my heart back, however. They've been borrowing it since last November.
> 
> So *did* Sorey come back as a Seraph? I figured I'd leave that up to the imagination.
> 
> (My personal headcanon says yes...but you don't have to agree)
> 
> I also think it would be unfair for me not to mention I was partially inspired for this fic by a doujinshi titled "Still Alive" by the circle ELEPHAN, which makes me bawl every single time I flip through it. THAT F-ING DOUJINSHI. It also needs to give me my heart back.


End file.
